In the beginning, God created man first before the appearance of the wife and the children. There is no controversy that out of the man the wife was formed: and from the union of both came the children. After the divine surgery, Adam knew that a part of his body had been separated to make another whole, the wife. Therefore, they are one, even though they were separated (Gen. 2:21-25).

Logically, one rib out of eight was taken out of man to make this new separated whole, leaving seven for the man. Without any controversy, the man will be more powerful than the woman in strength, intelligence; spiritual and physical activities; and endurance in all emotional state. The Bible refers to woman as a weaker vessel (1Pet. 3:7).

In this modern jet age, the proclamation of women is that, “what a man can do a woman can do”. Nice saying. All the woman can do is to imitate or emulate, but cannot be, neither better. Woman will always trail man despite their argument. Man is the cover for the woman.

Husband as the head of the family

A family is made up of a man (husband) and a woman (wife), not the reverse as many homes are today, or the modification – civil union, according to human right movement. A home where a man is not the head fall short of God’s standard and the definition of a home. The product of such home most of the time is problematic.

Husband to love the wife

Number 1 role of the husband in a home is to love the wife (Eph. 5:25), bearing in mind that she is his second half. The Bible says

“And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she       shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Gen. 2:23).

As the head of the home, he is to seek her highest good, not his own welfare or selfish desire above hers. Man should see the wife as his equal, not inferior companion: a coworker, not to denigrate her. The husband is to honor and adore her and be considerate of her.

There should not be any sexual activities out the marriage. Our body is God’s temple, to be kept holy (1Cor. 6:18-20). We need to honor and sanctify our bodies, embracing self-control for sexual purity, to avoid worldly passion for sexual immorality.

“Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers   and          adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4).

The home, foundation for the children

The first two years of our marriage, I was occasionally in quarrel with my wife. One day, I thought it not fit and not gainful to engage in fighting or quarreling with my wife, especially, when our children were growing up, for the sake of moral and spiritual edification. We were able to accomplish this by the special grace of God.

This has been a good foundation for the character we saw in our children today. Throughout the years they spent in elementary, high and tertiary school, we have never receive any complain or bad report on them. There was never a day we heard them using inappropriate or abusive word at anybody. Whatever happens between the husband and the wife at home forms the foundation upon which the children build upon.

Husband to love his children

Number 2 role of the husband is to love the third party of the family, the children. The upbringing of a child is a joint responsibility of husband and wife. Spouse should not separate for the sake of their children (1Cor. 7:12). The husband has the greatest responsibility not allowing separation.

As mentioned earlier, the husband is stronger in all things; therefore, he must endure the more in order to love the wife and the children. He is to create room for love, joy, peace and happiness. He must handle situations in kindly, gentle and meekly manner. He must exhibit high degree level of endurance, temperament and self-control.

Father’s regulation on the children should be reasonable, not arbitrary. A man, who provides necessities for the family and respect the wife, is also respected and loved by the children in return.

By Lawrence Abitogun

Related posts:

  1. As Christ is to the Church: so is Husband to the Wife
  2. Wife: the Glory of Her Husband
  3. Between Spouse – Avoiding communication breakdown
  4. Love for Christ reflects in love for others
  5. Love is understanding and bearing

Category: christian home

About the Author

Lawrence B. Abitogun, called by the special grace of the Almighty God through our Lord Jesus Christ; by the empowerment of the Holy Ghost, witnessing and preaching the gospel to the world, was born to a Christian parents at Uso, Ondo state, Nigeria. He received his elementary and secondary education in Nigeria from 1959-1971. He obtained a Bachelor degree in Fine Arts and a Master of Science in Industrial Arts at North Texas State University, Denton TX USA in 1979 and 1982 respectively.

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