So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband” (Eph. 5:28-33).

According to Apostle Paul, marriage is a “great mystery”; a sacred secret, an institution instituted by God at creation; for the purpose of companionship and duplicate multiplication between a man and a woman. From the apostolic era to this day, Christian marriage has been and should continue to be parallel to the union that exists spiritually between Jesus Christ and His bride, the church.

What is the relationship between Christ and the church that ought to be a model to husband and the wife? How does it apply to modern day marriage? And what are the advantages of holding on to this relationship? Let’s take a moment to see what a good relationship should be.

What Christ is to the church

  1. Christ is the head of the church (Col. 1:18).
  2. Christ is the savior of the body, the church (Jews as well as Non-Jews)
  3. He loved the church, understanding and bearing with her.
  4. Christ laid Himself down for the church.
  5. Nourish and cherish the church with spiritual (word) and physical need (trust for provisions)
  6. In Christ the church is admonished to be one in unity – bearing in mind that there is one body, one spirit, one hope, one baptism, one faith, one Lord and one God the Father.
  7. The Lord recognizes the weakness of the church and bears with her. He recognizes three defects in her, spot, wrinkle and blemish. Therefore, He sanctified and edified the church by cleansing her with the word of God, and by getting rid of defilement out of the temple; thus making it holy.
  8. Jesus did not hate or bitter with the church for her shortcomings, but cleanse her to be one flesh (1Cor. 5:7) to fit His kingdom.
  9. The church is the “house of God” – dispute do not promote “house order” in the church
  10. Jesus is faithful to the church.


Parallel: Husband to the wife

  1. Husband is the head of the wife
  2. Husband is the savior of the house – the wife, the children and all that is in the house are in his care.
  3. husband is to love the wife as Christ loved the church
  4. Husband is to emulate Christ love, the kind that he must at all time ready to lay his life down for her. To lay his life down means to protect and ready to be there for her when needed. The warfare of the wife is his.
  5. Husband is to cherish the wife, nourishing and caring for her with spiritual and moral support; recognizing the wife as his half (part of his body)
  6. Husband and wife becomes a new home, independent of their parent’s influence (Gen. 2:2). They have become one flesh with the same mind, in love, togetherness, same goal and reverencing one another (Gen. 2:23; Phi. 2:1-4).
  7. The husband is to recognize the wife as not perfect; like the church, she may have spot, wrinkle or blemish. What this means is that no one is perfect; however, the husband has a duty to make her perfect.
  8. Every human being has his or her own weakness or shortcomings; however, the husband should love the wife for what she is. He should bear with her and make her to suit for him, not to hate her. (Eph. 5:26-27)
  9. There should be no lingering dispute between the husband and the wife; it does not promote “house order” and peace in the house. The husband has a higher responsibility to carry in all home affairs; especially, in the area of self control and tolerance. To avert dispute, he should accept blame where there is stalemate on issues: if he is right or not, future will tell because history will always repeat itself.
  10. Marriage relationship is a symbol of faithfulness; husband should be faithful to his wife. In as much as possible, believing we can do all things together through Christ who strengthens us.

As Christians, we should honor our bodies as created by God; therefore, it needs to be sanctified in order to keep it for holy purpose. Let there be no sexual activity outside the marriage; God hates idolatry: embrace self control for sexual purity to avoid worldly passion for sexual immorality.

In marriage, everything between spouse must be “we” not “me and you”; because you have become one flesh, even though, there are still two person (Eph. 5: 31), together, they are as one. With this concept in mind, it sets the foundation of a Christian view of a marriage (Matt. 19:5; 1 Cor. 6:16).

Therefore, spouse must be comfortable in their

  • Physical bodies as regards to structure, strength, weakness and sexual relationship
  • Spirituality as regards to moral capability because individual has his or her own defect/s
  • Intellectual capacities as regards to knowledge, understanding and wisdom
  • Relational in regards to loving, caring and bearing one another.

As Christ’s intention is that He might present the church to Himself a glorious church, likewise let the husband love his own wife as his own body that he might present her a glorious wife.

By Lawrence Abitogun


Related posts:

  1. Wife: the Glory of Her Husband
  2. Love of the Husband to the Family
  3. Between Spouse – Avoiding communication breakdown
  4. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
  5. A Topical Guide To The Scriptures of The Church of Jesus Christ of The Latter-day Saints

About the Author

Lawrence B. Abitogun, called by the special grace of the Almighty God through our Lord Jesus Christ; by the empowerment of the Holy Ghost, witnessing and preaching the gospel to the world, was born to a Christian parents at Uso, Ondo state, Nigeria. He received his elementary and secondary education in Nigeria from 1959-1971. He obtained a Bachelor degree in Fine Arts and a Master of Science in Industrial Arts at North Texas State University, Denton TX USA in 1979 and 1982 respectively.

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